By Matthew Hayward 8/30/2025 Identity Is What You Build Most of who you are today is the result of what you’ve built, where you’ve put your time, and what you’ve poured your energy into. That’s your identity. It isn’t handed to you. It’s earned. The danger comes when you start tearing it down instead of strengthening it. Constantly doubting who you are can be paralyzing, even destructive. The healthier move isn’t to obsess, it’s to reflect with clarity. Ask better questions, and you’ll get better answers. Seven Healthier Lenses for Identity 1. Fluid, not fixed Identity isn’t a box you check once. It’s more like software that updates. Allowing yourself to grow without guilt keeps you from getting stuck in old versions of yourself. 2. Multi-layered You’re not just one thing. Identity works in layers: traits, relationships, communities, values, purpose. Over-identifying with a single role such as parent, partner, activist, or career is dangerous because if it shifts, you’ll feel lo...

 By Matthew Hayward In a world where superficiality often overshadows substance, I have chosen to define my life by depth and purpose. This blog is not just a reflection of who I am but a testament to the principles and passions that drive me forward. From navigating challenges to embracing triumphs, every facet of my journey has been shaped by a commitment to integrity, intellect, and impact. Here, I invite you into my world—a place where character, ambition, and a relentless pursuit of meaning converge. Together, let’s explore the qualities and experiences that have not only defined my life but can also inspire others to live with greater purpose and intentionality. (Please don't get me wrong; I am far from perfect and have made many mistakes, but this is who I am today and how I try to live.) Character and Values I am driven by purpose, not by money or materialism. I have an overdeveloped sense of justice and a relentless pursuit of fairness. I am unwaveringly trustworthy and lo...

By Matthew Hayward We live in an age of constant distraction, inundated with a plethora of information and expectations. Our days are often packed with commitments and responsibilities while our digital devices compete relentlessly for our attention. Amidst all this external noise, it's not surprising that we can lose touch with our inner selves. We often find ourselves peering outward, dreaming of what lies beyond, hoping to find answers, fulfillment, and purpose in the world around us. Yet, as the prominent Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung wisely suggests, "Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside awakes." This statement prompts us to appreciate the profound role of introspection and self-discovery in our journey toward self-understanding and self-realization. The Dream of the External World The world outside of us is like a grand stage for dreams. We dream of acquiring more, achieving mo...